Feeling Low and Sad? Finding your Strength back PART 2/2


 

 

                                                                                           By Anup Thakur

                                           
 
But Why Am I Feeling Sad? Second Step: (Acknowledgement)
 
 
This step is very important, to understand yourself and the both your problem and the source of it. Now there can be two major possibilities here:
 
1. You know the problem but couldn't find an effective way to control and handle the problem or situation.
 
2. You know you are feeling low or sad but have an unclear idea or no idea at all about why you are feeling so.


 
Now, If you know or don't know the problem which is making you upset, sad, gloomy, or anything negative and low, First thing I would like you to do is some soul searching through introspection in both the cases. You see sometimes we may or may not know that problem exists and its reasons and as a result, we take actions along with all those mental suffering along the way but, if you try to know and understand the problem you are facing more deeply an clearly, perhaps you will find better solutions, reasons, and explanations that will help in tackling the problem. Now the problem that causes you suffering can be both inside and outside and we can't do much about the problems that arise from the outside source but if we focus on the inner problems and their relation to the outer problems, we can deal with anything in a more effective way.

 

Let me give you some examples:
 
Problem can be a hard decision that you are finding hard to take or maybe it's caused by your insecurities, expectations when they are not fulfilled, mental questions such as meaning of life, your value in life, purpose of your life, what is right and wrong, trust, traumas, betrayals, relations, career, job etc... there can be a large never-ending list of the causes of the problem and suffering but most of them arise from our mind only. Get to know your own self first.

I would also like to add one more dimension to this topic that is your subconscious mind. This example is not relatable to everyone but I am sure that many of you can get my point what I am trying to say. Now Imagine for a moment, when you try to wake up early in the morning, if you are a night owl, what makes you feel that you cannot wake up in the morning when the alarm rings? even though we all have the ability to get up out of the bed then, if you want then you certainly can get up, then, why is it that we find it hard to get up? Simply because our mind tells us that it's hard and you need to sleep, preference is given to your sleep more than waking up but again why?  Because your subconscious mind is programmed by you like this through self-conditioning. Now the same thing applies to your negative feelings, actions, and thoughts. In a day we enter several trance states when our subconscious is open for and programming, and it can certainly pick up your emotions and feelings easily, making you unconsciously carry the negativity of your negative emotions for as long as it is not cured, even for years. It is very important for you to understand the power of your mind. It can make your life a heaven or a hell. Therefore I would like you to repeat positive suggestions and commands with all your belief in it, to the self throughout the day for a long period of time and eventually, your subconscious will accept the command.
 
Example: I am happy, I choose to look on the positive side of the life, I allow myself to be free from all the stress (as you breathe deeply believing it firmly) etc. Now it is just a general overview as I have not mentioned any techniques yet but for now, even repeating the simple suggestions/affirmations will be fine for you. (NOTE: It is not a detailed explanation of self-hypnosis I will cover this topic in my further posts someday)


But I am too lost and alone to help myself! 
 
Third Step (Social Support)
 
 
                            

We as a human being are not meant to be alone, we are social beings, we live for people we care and for ourselves. Life is too joyless living alone, no one should suffer alone. You see the beauty of life is in caring and sharing, with the people we love and care. Their warmth can melt any hardness and heaviness from our heart. Even though not all are that fortunate enough to make and build good social relations but, no matter how bad is life there is this one or a few people always by your side. 
 
I know, it may not be the case with everyone to find your true friend easily, personally to this day I have not found the one that fits my nature, I'll be looking for that person I can call my closest best friend with my understanding of true friendship (I'll make a post about it too someday), but even then, I am fortunate enough to have good people in my life. I can't deny the fact that everyone has their own uniqueness and I am no one to judge anyone on that basis so, even though I may not like the way someone talks (abusive) or act (disrespectful) towards anyone but there is this common thing that we always share that is Fun, Joy, Love, Care, Support and Happy Moments. Even having people who can give us this much in our life is a blessing. Such people can be your family or friends maybe pets but they are always by your side keeping aside their unique differences and disagreements. No one is always that perfect. 
 
The truth is that we can rarely have someone to which we can share everything, it's practically impossible, Things we talk to parents are different than the things we talk to our friends and bestfriends and even more different in our own head but still, there are always those with whome we can share most of the things. That is where social circles comes in play, whoever you find fit, Share with them and ask for guidance and support! It helps a lot. So don't be afraid to share your pain just because you feek embbaraced or insecure sharing your problems. 
 
We all need Support, If you are not getting one naturally, ask for it because people are having this aweful idea that those who loves you can read your eyes and mind but guess what, even most of the parents are not even aware about the agony their child is going through. Social media and platforms has spoiled our thinking with such thoughts, The fact that someone can pick up your emotions is definitely based on their own receptivity, connection and sensitivity. Pease don't judge anyone if they are not understanding your suffering naturally, afterall they are also humans, Let them know what you are facing!
 
 (Now I  am writing this post keeping in mind various types of numerous personalities which is why I am finding it difficult to keep this post straightforward and have to explain a lot so that most of you can relate as not everyone is walking in the same set of shoes. But those who can relate, I hope you can find this post useful and if I have skipped anything, let me know!) 

 
I am not feeling well and comfortable physically.
 
Step 4 (Take care of your body and mind)
 
                                    

Man Wearing Black Shorts Doing Hand StandAs a common person, your mind affects everything and your body affects your mind. Let me explain this a little that why taking care of your body is important for your physical as well as mental well being. It is scientifically proven that different foods affect our body and brain and their chemistry. It is right to say in a manner that what you eat you become and, so is this correct that what you do and think, you manifest and become. It happens due to the power of influence we all have. Our mind tends to get influenced easily with things we are repeatedly in contact with in any manner, even if we repeatedly practice something, our mind is most likely to get influenced by it and will develop a mindset related to your repeated influence. Example: A kid watching cartoon will be influenced by it and will talk, behave and think like that cartoon, his mindset will develop just like that of the main character of that cartoon which the kid likes and is influenced by. 
 
Similarly, when you engage in habits or thoughts that are not good for you, you are most likely to be influenced by them even more thus that negative habit or thought will grow more let's understand this by an example: When you are sad, you are most likely to listen to sad songs, that relates to you or that kinds give you a little sense of emotional background music just to increase and deepen your state of sadness. which is not good and is a good example of you being influenced by that music that it increases your current state.

In a nutshell, I want to tell you if you want to take care of your body you gotta take care of your mind, protect it from things that it may want to indulge in yet is not of any benefit at all. Since your mind affects your body, putting your mind into activities which are not productive is a bad move if you want to get your strength back. Instead, engage in the activities that are opposite of your desires that promotes ad supports sadness. Example: You wish you listen to sad songs? perhaps watch a comedy movie, hang out with friends,  Eat something good, go out for a walk or do something that you love.

After that, you have to work on your body because if the sensations of the body, the agitations are not taken care of, you will have a hard time coming out of your suffering. Yoga, running and other exercises are the best way to do so. But, there is this one thing that takes care of your mind and the body. Meditation! just this one activity is all that can cure your any and all sufferings related to your mind. From depressions to phobias, from sorrow to the losses and failures,  anger, fear, impatience, less tolerance, weak memory, lack of confidence or say anything, Meditation is the cure to this all and not just cure, as a bonus, you grow mentally, become wiser, more blissful and positive, and compassionate towards all, including  you! 


Last thing:
 
                       
 
I know things are very, very hard sometimes, you just break down and you need support and it is perfectly fine. As human beings, we were not supposed to stay alone, we need social circles and relations. If you ever find that things are too much for you to handle alone, get some help! If you have no one to talk to, you can also ask for my help. I understand sometimes people just want someone to simply listen to their problems without any pieces of advice or any judgements. I'll be more than happy to listen to your problems and give you proper guidance for once.
 
Next thing is that I want you to understand and remember that at the end of the day, your sorrows, sadness, anger, hate or ego will do you no good. No matter how much you cry or wish to be alone in your sadness, at last, you will have to clean your own mess yourself. No one will do it for you, no one can so, it is better to brace yourself up and keep putting right efforts to grow and rise above the sufferings than to sit sadly with your mood low. 
 
cry if you must,
shout if you need,
detach yourself if you must...
 
but in the end, rise and move ahead is the only option.
 
So much fixed and only option that even death cannot and will not change this option.
 
Find your strength, not your weakness.
 
Grow your strength, not your weakness.
 
Embrace your true self, not the suffering that you've grown to believe as yourself.
 
 
Part 2/2 Blog Post by Anup Thakur
 
NOTE - This article orginally appeared on qualitylifewithanubhav.blogspot.com
 

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